just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
