So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
