a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
