If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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