Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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