Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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