did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
