Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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