He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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