it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
