ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
