Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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