CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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