there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
