How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
