Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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