You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
