He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
