you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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