PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Where is the hickey?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
