I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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