I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
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She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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