i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
