Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i believe in u and ur pee
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
