okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
