i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
