You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize