Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
