I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
