His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
