Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
