I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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