these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
