no one should ever give us hovercrafts
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize