rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
