If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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