If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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