and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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