I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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