i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Im part way to drunk.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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