so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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