Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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