when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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