Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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