I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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