how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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