Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
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While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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