This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
