I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize