I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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