a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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