so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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