Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
