those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
well you can't waste a boner
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
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I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
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She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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