He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
