if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
