May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
