I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
