just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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