did you get engaged???
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
