so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
