it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?