I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
