What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's shark week go big or go home
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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