Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
